


After effects

by awesomeskittlesclw83



Category: The 100 (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 02:13:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomeskittlesclw83/pseuds/awesomeskittlesclw83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Murphy helps Clarke deal with Finn's death and her part in it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After effects

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so I hope you like it. Sorry if it sucks.

Clarke makes her way back to Camp Jaha on autopilot. She feels the knife being taken and hears Bellamy's voice but can't seem to make out the words. She looks up but only for a second ad she sees the shock and pity on the faces staring at her. She wants to be alone, to tune out the world but no one will let her. Her mother, Bellamy and even Kane try comforting her but she shrugs the away. Thankfully Raven won't look at her and she doesn't expect her too. She promised to protect him and failed. As Bellamy tries to get her to understand she's not at fault for the hundredth time, she just walks past him and out the tent without a word. He starts to follow but is stopped by Octavia's hand on his shoulder.  
"Give her time Bell. She'll come around when she's ready." "And if she doesn't?" "She will. She has to. She's our princess."  
Clarke stands outside thankful for the silence and that Bellamy didn't follow her until she hears her mother calling her name. As she gets closer Clarke sees Murphy sitting alone and figures he's the lesser of two evils as she walks over to sit across from him. Murphy doesn't say a word as she sits but looks at her puzzled until he sees her mother staring at them. Clarke fakes a smile and moves her lips pretending to talk to him. When Abby leaves thankful her daughter is interacting again Murphy realizes Clarke is still pretending to talk.  
"She's gone. You don't have to pretend we're talking anymore." "You knew?" "When you started pretending to talk to me I thought you'd finally snapped until I saw your mother watching. I'm not an idiot Clarke. I know you hate me and I'm used to being..."  
"I don't hate you Murphy." "Really? Cuz I want nothing to do with you sounded a lot like hate to me."  
He gets up leaving Clarke alone at the table. As the silence envelops her she looks down at her hands and sees blood, Finn's blood staining them. She looks up to see Finn sitting across from her, staring at her with empty eyes. She closes her eyes, shaking her head trying to get the images to go away but they won't. She's so wrapped up in her own thoughts she doesn't notice Bellamy sitting across from her until he touches her hand.  
"It's okay princess. You did the..."  
She doesn't let him finish and just leaves the table. She heads to the back of camp away from everyone, almost everyone. She rounds a corner and finds Murphy sitting on a piece of wreckage near the fence looking at the sky. He doesn't even notice she's there until she speaks and even then she's not sure he acknowledges her presence.  
"Does it ever go away? The blood I mean. Do you ever stop seeing their face?"  
There's a long pause and Clarke starts to leave when Murphy finally speaks.  
"Not really but it fades with time. The faces are the same. Every now and then they'll creep into a dream unexpectedly but you deal and move on." "How? How do you just deal and move on? How can you sit there like you're not dying inside? How are you so normal?"  
He lets out a small snort that catches Clarke off guard. "Did you forget who you were talking to, princess? I'm far from normal. I killed two people, tried hanging someone and shot another. Not to mention caused a girl to jump off a cliff. What about any of that is normal?"  
"That's just it Murphy. You've done all those things and you're still walking around like none of it ever happened. How do you do it?" "Because I don't care. Shooting Raven was a mistake yes but I knew someone was under the floor. Charlotte jumping was unexpected but it was justice. She killed Wells and made her choice in how she'd deal with it. I'm not sorry about anything I've done and that's the difference between us."  
"So how do I not care?" "You can't. You killed someone you cared about, maybe even loved and that's not something you just get over. You need to find your way to get over it and when you do the faces fade away along with the blood."  
He starts to leave as she climbs up to sit next to him. He's curious as to why so he sits back down waiting for her to speak. The next few nights are spent sitting on the wreckage, staring at the stars, talking. She finds it strangely comforting talking to him and soon she no longer sees the blood or Finn's face everytime she closes her eyes. She rounds the corner one night expecting to see Murphy but finds Bellamy instead.  
"Hope you're not too disappointed princess but I think the two of you need to talk."  
Murphy starts to walk away when Clarke hugs him.  
"Thanks Murphy. For everything." "Anytime princess. Just don't tell anyone about any of this. I've got a reputation to uphold."  
He smiles leaving her and Bellamy alone to talk.  
"So Murphy huh? That's..." "It's not what you think. He was the only person who didn't try and convince me that I'd done the right thing. It's strange but he was exactly what I needed and if you ever tell anyone I said that..."  
"Don't worry princess, it'll be our little secret."  
Bellamy pulls her close as she lays her head on his shoulder and they stare at the stars in silence.


End file.
